Distractions

As you know I’m deeply in love with a beautiful woman who happens to be in jail at the moment, and I’m not changing that, ever.  However, I happen to work in places where good looking women and young ladies frequently are working with me, or come into where I work.  Until T’keya came into my life I would have greatly appreciated these young ladies and women.  Now all I do is compare these women to her.  Sadly(for them), all these women fall short in my eyes compared to the beautiful woman I now love more than anything on this planet.  Guess I’m forever in love with you my dark skinned angel.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Anniversaries

There are anniversaries, both good and bad.  An example of a bad anniversary happened on the 4th of this month.  My cousin who was a year older than I died suddenly in his mother’s arms last year at their camp near here.  So that’s caused a little sadness not only in me, but with my family as well.  However, out of sadness comes happiness at times because another anniversary approaches or has approached.  I think, soon after the death of my cousin, I started writing to my beloved T’Keya.  This dark angel of my soul has done more to keep me happy in the last year than anyone has in recent memory.  So out of family tragedy came personal joy.  I wouldn’t trade my joy in my love for all the world.  I love you so much T’keya.  I’m glad you’re mine.

Explanation of the last post

More for my beloved’s benefit more than anything else, but since I forwarded my last post to her it might have been construed wrongly.  To her I say this, baby I didn’t keep that photo up so long because I still had feelings for that faithless woman, it’s just that I avoided being in the room with it as much as I could and when I was there I ignored it as much as I could.  However this time, feeling like I could stand it no more I took it down.  No more angry feelings and depression.  You are now my only love and no demon of the past intrudes.  I love you totally and completely sexy.  Now and forever.

It’s time to take it down…

A picture of a couple on my wall, a picture of a couple seemingly in love, I loved her anyway… She of myself, I really doubt it.  I couldn’t bring myself to take it down, but now all it does is give me pain.  It needs to go away and be replaced with a more worthy woman.  One who had never lied about loving me, or used me for her own ends.  Goodbye Alicia, you don’t exist to me anymore.  T’Keya owns my heart now.

I really don’t deserve her.

In my life there have been women I don’t deserve.  More that prove they don’t deserve me as my last two relationships really fubared on me.  Mostly because they thought they could take advantage of my love for them to do whatever they damn well pleased.  That being said, that’s not entirely what this post is about.  This isn’t the past but the present and future.  The other day my phone decided to be a tool and hang up on the woman (besides my mom of course) who means more to me than life.  You know who she is and where she is and a rough idea why, that being said I was pissed because I couldn’t call her back.  I expected her to be pissed too because of this little error too, and assume I did it on purpose.  I did the best damage control I could and it worked.  She understood things like that happen, she was more concerned that circumstances the way they were she couldn’t get me back.  I really don’t deserve this wonderful and sexy woman.  I hope nothing happens to screw this up because I need her more than the air in my lungs.

Stupid phone problems

I hope she forgives me, but I have a sensitive touch screen on my phone, and it can be a pain in the ass.  She didn’t have much time to begin with to talk to me, and when moving around, trying to make lunch my touch screen started reacting to the contours of my face.  As I was explaining what was happening my face hit the disconnect button.  If anyone of you dear readers have ever had a loved one in jail you know it’s impossible to call them back.  I tried sending her a message by voice and text and I hope I’m not in the doghouse.  I love her so much…I don’t want to lose her.

A note about my love for her…

I really scared the crap out of my baby this week, only because of the fact my phone got deactivated.  I got it back quickly thank God, but in the interim I wrote this little note to my baby.

I met you by mail months ago, never expecting more than a pen pal, a friend.  I read your profile, saw your crime.  Oddly enough, my instincts told me to take a chance and write you.  I’ve not forgotten how broken my heart was before I took that chance.  I have seen nothing that had made me think I’ve made a mistake.  I don’t care what landed you in jail.  I’m pretty sure if I knew I still wouldn’t care.  You have given me love and hope again.  I’m not saying this to flatter you, or butter you up.  You know how hurt I was left.  The woman before you really nearly made me give up or turn gay.  The latter might have been interesting.  Happily I’ll never have to find out how that’d work because you took my heart and healed it.  I never looked to fall in love again, but my darling I’m glad it’s with you.